“What am I living for,” Marta Kostyuk questions herself after being emotionally devastated by Russia’s invasion of Ukraine

Marta Kostyuk, a Ukrainian tennis player, is one of many Ukrainians playing tennis right now, and she’s finding it difficult to focus on her favourite sport. When asked about the war in Ukraine, Kostyuk was forthright, saying, “Right now is something indescribable, I would say, because there is a parent of one tennis player that died. There is one tennis player’s house that is completely destroyed. It was extremely difficult, the first week or two. It’s been two months and you know, it’s up and down, it changes. I’m trying to guide myself a little bit, just trying to see where I’m at. Trying to feel myself and trying to figure myself out.”

“I shouldn’t be silent”- Marta Kostyuk

In her interview with CNN, Kostyuk also explained how she began working with a psychologist to better regulate her emotions.

“I started a couple of weeks ago, which helps me enormously. But you know, sometimes it goes to a certain extent that it’s scary, the thoughts that come to you. I don’t want to say the words because you know, you can figure out what I’m trying to speak about. Because at that point, there’s so many things going on, you need to carry so much all at once that you are just like, I can’t handle this anymore. I’m just like, what’s the point where it’s all going? It’s never-ending like what should I do with my life now? What am I living for?.”

Trying to educate people about the war in Ukraine has aided Kostyuk and given her purpose. “Everyone is doing this differently, but the only goal that I have is not to feel as if I’m a victim in this situation,” she said. “Because I’m not and I’m not positioning myself like this. For the first two weeks [of the invasion], I had this feeling that I’m a victim, like, I don’t know what I should do because I rarely feel like this in my life and this was the turning point for me when I changed this mindset of not being a victim.”

Several Ukrainian players, including Marta Kostyuk, have called on Russian and Belarusian athletes to protest the Russian government’s decision to invade Ukraine if they wish to compete in international events.

“I shouldn’t be silent. I should say what I think. I shouldn’t scream at the top of my lungs, like, please help us. We specifically say what we need help with. I’m still a tennis player, and I still want to compete. I don’t want to get injured. I don’t want to go to this to certain points where I’m just, ‘you know what? I’m done.’ I cannot play tennis at this point … I cannot do anything,” she added.

Following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, Wimbledon officials declared earlier this month that Russian and Belarusian players would not be able to compete this year. In a Twitter post earlier in April, Marta Kostyuk said: “As athletes, we live a life in the public eye and therefore have an enormous responsibility. .. In times of crisis, silence means agreeing with what is happening.”

Besides Kostyuk, Ukrainian players Elina Svitolina and Sergiy Stakhovsky are among those calling on the WTA, ITF and ATP to ask players of those two nationalities to condemn the invasion.

“Inside the tour, we’re alone”- Marta Kostyuk

Kostyuk’s attitude has remarked that “tennis players… have nothing to do with politics,” according to CNN. “I don’t understand, what’s the point of dividing these two things? It’s one big system that we’re circling in. One cannot live without the other, and vice versa. So for me [the idea that] ‘sport is out of politics.’ Honestly, for so many years, it’s been proven completely the opposite,” she said.

“We used to be friends with a lot of players. I’m not friends with anyone anymore, like one single player. We know the whole world is trying to support us [Ukraine]. Everyone knows that what’s going on is wrong. And yet inside the tour, we’re alone,” she reiterated.

Marta Kostyuk, however, feels that if Russian and Belarussian players do not favour the invasion, they must take a stand. “Russian tennis players, some of them are not actually living in Russia. [They] have all the rights to take their family and move out and say what they really feel is the right thing to do, if they feel that they have to speak out against it.”

“Yet they’re not doing it. They had enough time to do it, let’s be honest. Everyone has a choice to make. There are a bunch of tennis players who have resources to move their family out of the country. And yet they’re not doing it. Why, I don’t know. ​I wouldn’t want to live in a country that doesn’t allow me to speak out; that doesn’t allow me to live my life​; that ​(wants) my family in danger because of my actions.”

“That’s why we’re trying to force them to speak out anyhow like even if you support this invasion, talk about it​; just say your opinion publicly. But they know that if they do it, they will be out of work,” the Ukrainian tennis star concluded.

Also Read: “Really hurts me,” Marta Kostyuk bashes policies allowing Russian players to compete in tournaments, points to World No. 1 Daniil Medvedev

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